From Soul Mate to Stale Mate
You settle down to life’s challenges and slowly drift apart.
Like most of us, your days are busy, and your calendars are filled.
The honesty is gone because you feel your partner can’t handle the truth about how you see the world. The arguments increasingly descend into blaming and slamming doors.
Is that just the way of all relationships?
When Kathy and George* first came into work on their relationship, they were fighting every day over something. Each of them was focused on the other’s behaviors.
I can understand why, as they were both doing things that were really hurtful to each other and to their relationship.
This is because resentment had built up, and neither partner was getting their needs met in the relationship. They spent their time trying to prove why they were right and the other was wrong.
So, I started by having them each fill out a detailed step-by-step questionnaire where they could write down exactly what the other was doing that was upsetting in all areas of their relationship.
We all have lots of great reasons to hide what we truly think and feel.
We have even more good reasons to try and get our needs met by manipulating, lecturing, stonewalling, avoiding and otherwise creating blocks to intimacy.
But none of those strategies really work in the long run.
Better to address the issues before they grow unmanageable.
It takes less time and effort, and you don’t have to worry about damage being done with too much bitterness present to make therapy work.
By the time many couples make it into therapy, problems are well entrenched, and resentment may have taken hold.
Therapy is much more challenging at this stage and doesn’t always work.
Learn healthy selfishness
We all have examples of how tiresome and frustrating it is when dealing with a selfish person.
But the kind of selfishness I am talking about has nothing to do with the kind of selfish person you are probably thinking of.
I encourage couples to develop the type of selfishness that inspires couples. As you become more selfish in a healthy way, your relationship improves.
Your needs are more easily identified, and you get to work as a team to find the strategies that work for both partners.
Are you ready to go to the next level in your love relationship?
I work with couples to restore an energized connectedness that feels satisfying and yummy, using a unique combination of inner awareness exercises and communication techniques.
I will help you to increase special, fun time together, making new memories, as much as I help you practice communicating and building trust.
I will introduce some tools that you can easily apply to the rest of your issues, so we don’t waste your precious time in therapy.
Connect to each other like you did in the early days – and with greater depth.
Remember that feeling of aliveness, like the world really was your oyster and anything was possible?
Get back to that sweetness you cherished so much.
Call (310) 993-8255 today for a complimentary telephone consultation to discuss your particular concerns and to determine if we are a fit for each other.
*Combined from many client experiences.